Shiloh/Damages
July 18, 2011: Shiloh Says Onision Saved Her Life and Admits Her Reaction to Rejection Destroyed the Relationship
On July 18, 2011, Shiloh published a Draculoh blog post titled “I’ll always love my Zorr.”
She wrote that she continued loving Onision and wanted him to be happy:
- “I truly do love him and I want him to be happy.”
She also stated that she regretted the conflict:
- “This has all been so ugly, and if I could take it all back I would.”
Shiloh Describes the Relationship as Loving and Meaningful
Shiloh recalled what she called the “beautiful moments” and periods when:
- “nothing was wrong, everything was so very perfect”
She listed affectionate memories from the relationship, including:
- their first kiss
- their first night
- their first video
- their first dance
- kissing in the rain
- intimate moments spent together as friends
- small acts intended to make one another smile
She concluded:
- “There are so many wonderful things to remember.”
This was not the language of someone describing a relationship she contemporaneously understood as uniformly abusive or predatory. Shiloh described it as loving, meaningful, and filled with memories she actively treasured.
Shiloh Admits Her Conduct Followed Onision’s Rejection
Shiloh directly explained what triggered her escalation:
- “Truth is. I wanted so badly for things to work I didn’t think about how I was acting, or what I was saying.”
She then identified the critical event:
- “When love runs deep, so does the pain when the person says they don’t love you anymore.”
This statement places Onision’s withdrawal and rejection before Shiloh’s extreme conduct. Her own account shows that she reacted after he said the relationship was over—not that he was pursuing or refusing to release her.
“I Clung So Tight I Suffocated His Love”
Shiloh wrote that the outcome could have been different if she had respected Onision’s request for distance:
- “If I could just go back in time, and step away... and given him his space”
She then accepted responsibility for refusing that space:
- “I was so scared of losing him that I clung so tight I suffocated his love for me”
That is a direct admission of possessive conduct after rejection. Shiloh acknowledged that Onision wanted space, that she failed to provide it, and that her own reaction contributed to the final breakdown.
Onision Gave Her “the Best Time” of Her Life
Shiloh stated:
- “He gave to me the best time of my life”
She said their memories continued sustaining her:
- “it’s all that keeps me going every day.”
She then wrote:
- “if it wasn’t for him...I would not be alive right now.”
- “He saved my life when I was left with nothing else but pain.”
- “He was my friend when no one else would be.”
- “He loved me when I didn’t have the world to offer... just my love.”
Shiloh Identifies Onision as the Good Man She Hurt
Shiloh’s allocation of responsibility was explicit:
- “He is a good man. A good man that I hurt.”
She added:
- “A good man that deserves nothing but happiness and light.”
She also rejected the idea that their relationship had been meaningless:
- “I cherish every moment I had with him.”
- “I appreciate every single second.”
The Contradiction With the Later Media Narrative
Shiloh’s later appearances with Chris Hansen and in Onision: In Real Life radically reversed the roles preserved in this contemporaneous post.
Her July 2011 account states that:
- Onision ended the relationship emotionally.
- Shiloh reacted badly after being told he no longer loved her.
- Onision wanted space.
- Shiloh refused to let go and “clung” to him.
- Shiloh recognized that her conduct damaged the relationship.
- Onision gave her the best period of her life.
- Onision saved her life.
- Onision supported her when nobody else would.
- Onision was a good man.
- Shiloh was the person who hurt him.
This post is especially damaging to the later narrative because Shiloh supplied both the motive and the sequence herself: rejection caused pain, the pain caused her escalation, and her refusal to respect distance helped destroy the relationship.
The later public story cannot be evaluated honestly while excluding Shiloh’s own written admission that Onision was attempting to leave and that she reacted by clinging more tightly.
Source
- Shiloh’s Draculoh blog.
- Post titled “I’ll always love my Zorr.”
- Published July 18, 2011.
- Draculoh blog
Related: The Shiloh Record · Claimed Harm and Damages · Damage to Onision and Lucas
July 18, 2011: Shiloh Calls Onision Her Hero, Says He Saved Her Life, and Admits, Yet Again, Hurting Him
In a post published on her Draculoh blog, Shiloh described Onision as the person who supported her when she believed she had nobody else.
She wrote:
- “He saved my life when I was left with nothing else but pain.”
- “He was my friend when no one else would be.”
- “He loved me when I didn’t have the world to offer... just my love.”
These are direct statements about what Shiloh believed Onision had contributed to her life. She did not merely describe having affectionate feelings for him; she credited him with saving her, supporting her, and loving her during a period of severe personal distress.
Shiloh Identifies Herself as the Person Who Caused Harm
Shiloh continued:
- “He is a good man. A good man that I hurt.”
- “A good man that deserves nothing but happiness and light.”
This is a direct allocation of responsibility. In Shiloh’s own contemporaneous account, Onision was the good person who had been hurt, while Shiloh identified herself as the person responsible for hurting him.
She also rejected the idea that their relationship had been meaningless:
- “None of our love was meaningless despite how this all went down.”
- “I cherish every moment I had with him.”
- “I appreciate every single second.”
Apology, Continuing Love, and “Hero” Statement
Shiloh wrote:
- “Greg is beautiful in so many ways.”
- “I will love him with everything I have forever.”
She then addressed Onision directly:
- “To Greg I am sorry from the very soul of whatever is left of me.”
- “I wish you the best in everything you do, I believe in you, You’re still my hero.”
The statement combines an admission of wrongdoing, an apology, continued devotion, and an unequivocal endorsement of Onision’s character.
The Later Reversal
Shiloh later appeared in hostile interviews with Chris Hansen and in Onision: In Real Life, where the relationship was presented through a radically different narrative.
The contrast is not a minor difference in wording or emotional tone. The fundamental roles were reversed.
In the contemporaneous post, Shiloh said:
- Onision saved her life.
- Onision supported her when nobody else would.
- Onision loved her during severe personal hardship.
- Onision was a good man.
- Shiloh was the person who hurt him.
- Shiloh owed him a profound apology.
- Shiloh cherished their time together.
- Onision remained her hero.
In the later media narrative, Onision was instead portrayed as the central cause of Shiloh’s suffering.
Those positions cannot be reconciled without confronting the extraordinary change in Shiloh’s account. Her original writing identifies Onision as a source of safety, love, and survival—not the origin of the harm she later attributed to him.
Evidentiary Significance
This post joins a larger contemporaneous record in which Shiloh:
- admitted hurting Onision
- repeatedly requested forgiveness
- continued pursuing him after he ended the relationship
- praised his character and creative work
- credited him with improving or saving her life
- described serious emotional and memory problems that existed independently of him
- continued professing love long after their conflicts began
The later public portrayal cannot be responsibly evaluated while omitting these statements. They are Shiloh’s own words, written before the later interviews, fundraising efforts, documentary exposure, and coordinated public campaign against Onision.
Source
Shiloh’s Draculoh blog.
The preserved screenshot shows the post text and a photograph of Shiloh kissing Onision. The publication date is not visible in the surviving image.
Related: The Shiloh Record · Damage to Onision and Lucas
June 25, 2011: Shiloh Says Onision Made Her Experience Better and Thanks Him for His Support
On June 25, 2011, Shiloh published a post on her Draculoh blog titled “Bad Memories.”
She described emotionally painful memories returning to her:
- “Unfortunately every memory coming back to me is painful, things from before being with Greg and and fights with him.”
Shiloh wrote that she was slowly slipping into depression and struggling with “heartbreaking and mind shattering” memories.
Her description expressly included painful experiences that existed before her relationship with Onision. She did not attribute her distress to him.
Shiloh Identifies Onision as a Source of Support
After describing her emotional condition, Shiloh wrote:
- “If it wasn’t for Greg this whole experience would be so much worse... Thank you Greg <3 I love you.”
She also thanked her friends, family, and fans for supporting her.
This contemporaneous post presents Onision as someone who improved Shiloh’s condition during a period of depression and distress. Even while acknowledging that they had experienced arguments, she distinguished those conflicts from the broader painful memories affecting her and credited Onision with making the experience easier.
What the Evidence Establishes
Shiloh’s own 2011 account records that:
- she experienced painful memories connected to events predating Onision
- her emotional distress was not presented as originating from their relationship
- she was struggling with depression and recurring memories while still with Onision
- she said her experience would have been substantially worse without him
- she thanked Onision directly
- she publicly told him that she loved him
This is important when evaluating Shiloh’s later portrayal of the relationship. Her later media narrative often presented Onision as the source of her harm. Her contemporaneous writing instead records preexisting distress and expressly credits Onision with helping her through it.
The post also strengthens Onision’s position concerning causation and damages. Shiloh’s own account shows that serious emotional difficulties and painful memories existed independently of him, while his presence was described as making her situation better rather than worse.
Source
- Shiloh’s Draculoh blog.
- Post titled “Bad Memories.”
- Dated June 25, 2011.
- Draculoh blog
Related: The Shiloh Record · Damage to Onision and Lucas
November 8, 2011: Shiloh Attributes Her Trauma to a Former Partner and Calls Onision Her “One True Love”
On November 8, 2011, Shiloh published a Draculoh blog post titled “The Truth.”
The post directly addressed claims that Shiloh had been happier before meeting Onision:
- “A lot of people are saying that I used to be happy go lucky and cheerful before Greg, that I was.........different back then.”
Shiloh rejected that narrative and identified a different source for the changes in her mental and emotional condition.
Shiloh Says She Contacted Onision for Help
Shiloh explained that her first contact with Onision occurred while she was in another relationship:
- “The first message I sent to Greg was because the man I was with at the time was very verbally abusive and I wanted to know what I should do, so I messaged Greg.”
She said that she began dating Onision shortly after ending that four-year relationship.
Under Shiloh’s own account, Onision entered her life as someone she approached for advice and support while attempting to escape an abusive situation.
The Previous Relationship Caused the Damage
Shiloh wrote:
- “I was OKAY before my ex, I loved myself... I was happy with how I looked and how I acted”
She then identified the former partner—not Onision—as the source of her fear and self-hatred:
- “ever since that relationship I have been scared of who I am... I’ve hated the real Shiloh since that relationship.”
She continued:
- “I spent 4 years being told I wasn’t good enough, yes I have changed.”
This is a direct contemporaneous statement concerning causation. Shiloh attributed her damaged self-image, identity disturbance, fear, and emotional deterioration to the four-year relationship that preceded Onision.
She even wrote:
- “I really wish Greg could know who I was before my ex, things would be a lot easier for us.”
That sentence is particularly important. Shiloh recognized that Onision was dealing with emotional damage created before he entered the relationship.
Onision Is Identified as the Better Relationship
Shiloh warned readers not to allow a first love to destroy them because they might later find someone they loved even more.
She then identified that person as Onision:
- “I love Greg more than I have loved anyone”
- “he will always be my one true love”
- “I will fight for this man until I can’t move anymore.”
The contrast in Shiloh’s own writing is unmistakable:
- the former partner was described as verbally abusive
- the former relationship destroyed Shiloh’s self-worth
- Onision was the person she approached for help
- Onision was the person she loved more than anyone
- Onision was described as her one true love
The Contradiction With the Later Narrative
Shiloh later appeared in Chris Hansen interviews and in Onision: In Real Life, where substantial portions of her emotional and psychological harm were associated with Onision.
Her November 2011 account tells a fundamentally different story.
In her own contemporaneous words:
- serious emotional damage existed before Onision
- the damage followed four years with another partner
- the former partner repeatedly told her she was not good enough
- Shiloh had already become afraid of herself
- Shiloh already hated her identity
- Onision was contacted as a source of help
- Shiloh believed life with Onision would have been easier if he had known her before the prior abuse
- she called Onision her one true love
This is not a minor inconsistency caused by different wording years later. It is a reversal of causation.
The person Shiloh originally identified as her rescuer, adviser, and greatest love was later placed at the center of a hostile media narrative, while the former relationship she herself blamed for transforming her personality largely disappeared from the public account.
Evidentiary Significance
This post is highly relevant to Shiloh’s later claims of harm because it documents her own understanding of her psychological history before documentary exposure, fundraising, and the organized public campaign against Onision.
It establishes that the emotional conditions later associated with Onision had already been attributed by Shiloh to:
- an earlier abusive relationship
- four years of degradation
- damaged self-esteem
- fear of her own identity
- longstanding self-hatred
The post therefore supports Onision’s position that Shiloh brought severe preexisting trauma and instability into the relationship and later reassigned responsibility for that damage to him.
Source
- Shiloh’s Draculoh blog.
- Post titled “The Truth.”
- Published November 8, 2011 at 11:53 a.m.
- Draculoh blog
Related: The Shiloh Record · Claimed Harm and Damages · Damage to Onision and Lucas
February 19–20, 2012: Shiloh Repeatedly Contacts Onision After He Ends the Relationship
On February 19, 2012, Shiloh emailed Onision:
- “Can we talk. Please.”
Onision responded one minute later:
- “I don’t think so.”
The following morning, Shiloh continued:
- “Well when everything has cooled down, I would like to just have a civil one on one conversation okay? If possible.”
Onision again refused:
- “Nothing will ever cool down, I will never stop hating you for what you did to us.”
Shiloh Acknowledges Onision’s Feelings of Betrayal
Shiloh replied that she wanted to explain what happened so Onision would no longer believe he had been inadequate:
- “I just want to discuss what went wrong so you can stop feeling like you weren’t ‘good enough’”
Onision then directly identified the reason for ending contact:
- “Stop contacting me, you cheating scum.”
Shiloh continued messaging despite that instruction. She stated:
- “I want you to know everything that’s happened, from the min. I got here until now.”
- “I want you to know the truth, you deserve that.”
Onision answered:
- “DON’T TALK TO ME!!! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!!! STOP TALKING TO ME!!!”
What the Evidence Establishes
The exchange documents a clear sequence:
- Shiloh repeatedly initiated contact.
- Onision immediately rejected the first request to speak.
- Shiloh continued requesting a private conversation.
- Onision identified cheating and betrayal as the reason for his anger.
- Shiloh recognized that Onision felt he had not been “good enough.”
- Shiloh indicated that there were additional facts or a fuller “truth” she still wanted to disclose.
- Onision repeatedly and unequivocally directed Shiloh to stop contacting him.
The messages support Onision’s longstanding account that he ended the relationship after discovering Shiloh’s infidelity and dishonesty. They show him attempting to terminate communication while Shiloh pursued further access and explanation.
Shiloh’s statement that Onision deserved “the truth” is also significant. It indicates that the account previously available to him was incomplete and that she still possessed information about what had occurred.
This contemporaneous record conflicts with later portrayals of Onision as the person refusing to release Shiloh or pursuing her after the relationship. In this exchange, the roles are unmistakable: Shiloh repeatedly seeks contact, and Onision repeatedly refuses it.
Source
Email exchange between Shiloh and Onision dated February 19–20, 2012.
The published screenshot redacts portions of the email addresses.
Related: The Shiloh Record · Damage to Onision and Lucas
February 29–March 3, 2012: Shiloh Caught Lying Again, Admits Owing Onision $4,000 and Knowingly Supplies an Fraudulent Repayment Number
On February 29, 2012, Shiloh contacted Onision and expressly acknowledged that she owed him money:
- “Hey, I have the means to pay you back your money.”
She identified the amount and what it covered:
- “I will be sending you a total of $4,000 that covers, pregnancy costs... the flight here, and the money you sent me.”
This was a contemporaneous admission against her own financial interest. Shiloh acknowledged that Onision had paid substantial expenses for her and represented that she intended to reimburse him.
The Promised Repayment
Onision initially instructed Shiloh to mail a check. She said that she had no checks and would need one or two weeks to obtain them.
Onision then proposed Western Union. Shiloh agreed:
- “Okay I will have to do this tomorrow.”
- “I will send you the confirmation number when I have it”
She also asked Onision not to block her email until she could send the transfer information.
Attempts to Reopen Personal Contact
While arranging the supposed repayment, Shiloh began asking for personal information and attempting to expand the conversation beyond the debt.
She asked about Onision’s health:
- “I heard you were physically sick... Are you okay? Health wise?”
After discussing his telephone number, she attempted to ask another personal question and stated:
- “I just always trusted your opinion.”
The exchange shows that Shiloh was still attempting to maintain personal access to Onision after he had ended the relationship. Onision remained focused on the repayment and did not engage with her attempts to reopen a personal relationship.
The Invalid Western Union Number
On March 3, 2012, Onision wrote:
- “You lied yet again... that number was fake.”
Shiloh responded:
- “Real, but okay”
Onision replied:
- “Nope, they confirmed it was fake. You may want to follow it up.”
Later that evening, he blocked her again.
The promised $4,000 repayment was never completed.
What the Evidence Establishes
The exchange documents that:
- Shiloh admitted owing Onision $4,000.
- She identified pregnancy expenses, travel, and money previously sent by Onision as components of that debt.
- She promised to repay him through Western Union.
- She used the repayment exchange to seek renewed personal communication.
- She stated that she trusted Onision’s opinion.
- The transfer number she supplied was reported as invalid after verification with Western Union.
- The money was not repaid.
- Onision again terminated contact after identifying the false transfer information.
This is direct evidence of financial deception within the relationship’s aftermath. Shiloh acknowledged receiving thousands of dollars from Onision, promised repayment, and then supplied information that Onision contemporaneously reported Western Union had confirmed was fake.
The record also contradicts later portrayals of Shiloh as the financially exploited party. Her own email establishes that Onision had funded major expenses for her and that she recognized an obligation to return $4,000.
Source
Email exchange between Shiloh and Onision dated February 29 through March 3, 2012.
Email addresses, telephone information, and other identifying details have been redacted from the publication copy.
Related: The Shiloh Record · Claimed Harm and Damages · Damage to Onision and Lucas
February 28, 2020: Shiloh Compares an Online Commentator to Onision While Implying Imminent Self-Harm
On February 28, 2020, RealStreamNews publicly attributed a series of direct messages to Shiloh.
After Nicholas DeOrio requested a screen recording, refresh, and profile selection, RealStreamNews replied:
- “Scroll through with the messages I blacked out the other dms though just to show hers.”
The messages attributed to Shiloh state:
- “Are you completely okay with the fact that I’m 93 lbs and on suicide watch because of all of you?”
- “You seem to be waiting for me to bleed out on camera before you’re satisfied”
- “Is that what you want? Because you’re pushing more than just me to that level”
- “.... you midaswell be Greg himself.”
- “I hope you feel accomplished”
- “You’ll finally get what you want today”
What the Messages Establish
The messages place responsibility for Shiloh’s physical condition and potential self-harm on an online commentator and an undefined group described as “all of you.”
The final statement—“You’ll finally get what you want today”—follows references to suicide watch and bleeding out. In context, it communicates an apparent threat of imminent self-harm while accusing the recipient of wanting that outcome.
The comparison to Onision is especially significant. Shiloh told an online commentator that he “might as well be Greg himself,” despite the recipient having no relationship with her comparable to her former relationship with Onision.
This shows that Shiloh used Onision’s identity as a generalized label for people she believed were criticizing, antagonizing, or emotionally harming her online. The comparison collapses fundamentally different people, relationships, and conduct into the same accusation.
That pattern matters when evaluating later claims about Onision. A comparison to Onision cannot automatically be treated as a precise description of conduct unique to their former relationship when Shiloh also applied the same comparison to an online commentator based on public commentary.
The messages further document a pattern in which criticism was answered with:
- claims that the recipient caused her suicidal condition
- accusations that the recipient wanted to see her die
- responsibility for the well-being of unnamed additional people
- an apparent imminent self-harm threat
- comparison of the recipient to Onision
This is evidence of emotionally coercive communication directed at someone outside the former relationship and provides important context for evaluating Shiloh’s later descriptions of conflict, responsibility, and psychological harm.
Source
- RealStreamNews tweet dated February 28, 2020.
- Original tweet: RealStreamNews status 1233549151994032129
- Preserved through a February 29, 2020 Wayback Machine capture.
- Messages publicly attributed to Shiloh by RealStreamNews.
Related: The Shiloh Record · Damage to Onision and Lucas
December 14–23, 2020: Leaked Blackfin Record Appears to Show Shiloh Was Paid $20,580 for the Onision Documentary
A document circulated as a leaked Blackfin payment record bears Shiloh Hoganson’s name and identifies the billed item as:
- “Onision Documentary”
The invoice lists:
- rate: $20,000
- tax: $580
- total: $20,580
- amount paid: $20,580
- balance due: $0.00
The invoice is directed to Collin Emley. Separate employment results identify Emley as a Blackfin video editor, connecting the name on the payment record to the documentary company.
What the Evidence Means
If authentic, the invoice destroys the portrayal of Shiloh as merely an uncompensated witness reluctantly sharing her experiences.
Blackfin did not simply provide her with a microphone. The record indicates that the company paid her more than $20,000 for work or participation connected to a documentary built around attacking Onision and Lucas.
That creates a direct financial interest in:
- participating in the production
- providing commercially valuable accusations
- sustaining the most dramatic possible narrative
- helping Blackfin market the documentary
- keeping public outrage focused on Onision and Lucas
The documentary therefore cannot be treated as neutral corroboration of Shiloh’s claims. It was a commercial production in which a featured accuser appears to have received substantial compensation.
Connection to Sarah’s Financial Motive
This record is also important to Sarah’s compensation history.
Onision’s contemporaneous call notes record Sarah stating that:
- documentary participants were paid
- confidentiality terms prevented her from disclosing the amount
- she had enough money to make a down payment on a house
The Shiloh invoice does not establish Sarah’s exact payment amount. It does, however, corroborate the existence of substantial participant compensation within the same production.
Sarah’s refusal to reveal whether or how much she received therefore cannot be dismissed as baseless suspicion. The production appears to have paid at least one major accuser more than $20,000 while presenting the finished program as evidence against Onision and Lucas.
Commercial Testimony Presented as Independent Evidence
The conflict is straightforward:
- Blackfin produced a documentary accusing Onision and Lucas
- Blackfin appears to have paid a featured accuser $20,580
- the accuser’s allegations supplied valuable content for the production
- the production then presented those paid allegations to an international audience as corroboration
- the resulting publicity caused severe reputational and financial damage to Onision and Lucas
The payment does not make every statement automatically false. It establishes bias, financial incentive, and a commercial relationship that audiences should have been told about when evaluating the documentary’s credibility.
Any payment terms, contracts, editorial instructions, confidentiality provisions, bonuses, reimbursements, and communications between Shiloh and Blackfin are therefore material evidence.
Authentication Evidence Still Needed
The employment screenshot strengthens the invoice’s internal consistency because the named recipient appears connected to Blackfin.
The decisive authentication evidence would be:
- the original invoice file and metadata
- Blackfin’s accounts-payable ledger
- Shiloh’s appearance agreement
- payment confirmation or bank-transfer record
- tax documents or 1099 records
- communications discussing the amount and purpose of payment
Those records would establish whether the circulated invoice is genuine and exactly what Blackfin purchased for $20,580.
Source
Circulated Blackfin invoice dated December 14, 2020.
Employment search results concerning Collin Emley dated or captured December 23, 2020.
The documents were reportedly circulated online by a person described as a Blackfin whistleblower.
Related evidence: