File:2011-07-18-Shiloh-Says-Onision-Saved-Her-Life-And-Admits-Suffocating-The-Relationship.jpg

Full-page screenshot of Shiloh’s July 18, 2011 Draculoh blog post titled “I’ll always love my Zorr.”

Shiloh writes that she still loved Onision, wanted him to be happy, and wished she could reverse what had happened. She describes their relationship through affectionate memories, including their first kiss, first night, first video, first dance, and other intimate moments that she calls “beautiful” and “perfect.”

Shiloh then accepts responsibility for the relationship’s collapse. She states that she acted irrationally because she desperately wanted the relationship to continue and because Onision told her he no longer loved her. She says she should have stepped away and given him space, but instead became so afraid of losing him that she “clung so tight” she “suffocated his love.”

She further states that Onision gave her the best time of her life, kept her going, saved her life, supported her when nobody else would, and was “a good man” whom she had hurt. The post sharply contradicts her later media portrayal of Onision by identifying rejection—not abuse—as the catalyst for her escalation and by assigning responsibility for harming the relationship to herself.